Sweet Disposition

Tell me the truth about love.

Surprised by myself that this year, unlike others, the approach of St. Valentine's Day comes with a gloom about it. Usually it passes fairly unnoticed, as it is after all a commercial invention and — as my newly married friend puts it — a false idea about romance as if to make an excuse for not being loving every other day of the year. He says, "Everyday should be Valentine's Day," and follows up with the fingers down throat sign language.

On one hand we all know St. Valentine's Day is a manufactured twist about love in order to push material ideals, and that actually it creates a gulf between men and women. Women come to hold increasingly high standards for this supposed evidence of love, where men feel pressured into making a performance out of this evidence. It is a tricky escalation in opposing directions. We would like to stop this.

On the other hand, for those of us who may have not been in a relationship for quite a while, this day comes along as a little barb, and it snags. Ouch. My gloom this year is about that, simply. If your being solo has been the case for some time, if you live on your own, that day can be a milestone that reminds you quite how long you have been doing things without a team mate. If you're feeling a bit frazzled, I'm with you.

And then I remember my friend with his nauseating comment and wonder why is it that I appear to be waiting until 14th February to find evidence of love? It is in every day. If someone makes me a cup of tea, this is the love in every day. If someone gives a few kind words, this is love. Really, it is that humble.

"Lighten up," I tell myself, "and stop giving love such a bad name." (No, Bon Jovi will not be today's soundtrack.)

'Oh tell me the truth about love.' 


Thanks W.H.Auden. A few years younger than me when he wrote his questioning words in a confusion about how on earth to define love, but never once did he refer to a heart-shaped chocolate box. Prickling hedge or soft pyjamas, every day is Valentine's day.

A sweet disposition will see it, a hard heart will not. 

{Today's Soundtrack: Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition}