Cairns : i

Today's is a tricky idea, so I'm going to pull it apart and discuss it in two pieces. 

Waking this morning there was a shadow hovering nearby, like a cloud of junk that was stopping me feeling excited about the day ahead. I work part-time with young folk as a photography lecturer and have chosen to preserve a couple of days in the week for my own freelance projects, of which I feel terribly protective. Today is one of my lizzie-days, and I would usually jump up and get out and about, writing, photographing, plotting. It is a real privilege to have the time and resources to do this, and I do not want to waste a second. This morning it took ages to come round and figure out where to start.

'Boof. A punchbag morning. I am the punchbag; work is the boxer and he's on a roll.'

I come to see most of what I do not as work, but as calling, blessing, gifting, and opportunity – that is a real treasure. Somewhere along the way of having a vision and making a plan, setting objectives and mapping the route, I forgot that the car needs servicing, my students would like their grades, an invoice needs chasing, and that buying some food items coloured other than easy-access brown or orange varieties will stop me getting heart disease. I forgot to 'be aware'* ready to tweak things in the plan as life occurs and alters the twists in this road. I like to forget about the backstage function that allows the show to go on, because it pulls me away from being immersed in the making and doing. 

The problem with not wanting to waste a second is two-fold: first, this forgets the 'elbow a little clearing' idea mentioned in Making Contact, and second it is about striving in my own strength to realise the vision, according to my limited understanding of what today is all about, which ignores the Grains of Sand phenomenon. Yes we need a strategy, and we need to see that strategy in action*. But we need to be humble enough to accept events come and go which affect our trajectory, because what we do is not just about us. We need patience. If it's a good vision, it involves lots of people, so we need to go steady enough to let all those people and ideas and lives dovetail. The backroom is a busy place.

So here I am on a lizzie-day, not wanting to waste a second but occupied backstage. 

Why a picture of B emptying stones onto the beach? I'll tell you tomorrow. x

*For inspiration about being aware in the middle of an A to B vision, thank you Jane Northcote. For Strategy in Action, thank you Jimmy P for being an accomplice. 

{Today's Soundtrack: Doves - Lost Souls}