Abandon

A soundtrack today caused something to stir in my tummy. It was this thought about someone giving themselves in abandon to be alone with another person, whatever the cost. The soundtrack is Sufjan Stevens, 'To Be Alone With You' from Seven Swans. The track is a beautiful love song written between humans, but then takes a humbling twist turned between humans and god, describing in terms we understand quite how far god would go to say, "I just really, really love you." It's so hard to resist this kind of abandon when it's brought to you, but quite a challenge to let yourself go to it at the same time. You have to trust that all your fear and doubt and need to control an outcome will be triumphantly overshadowed by something else that won't be articulated in any language we understand. No, it's another language altogether, spoken in quiet, physical, eye to eye presence. You do know what I'm talking about. It is completely at home in contradiction and repelled by possession. Someone else abandons themself for you so that you can live free.

I could write about this for hours, but am not an expert, far from it.

True love is a force beyond reckoning. To grow strength enough to hold love you must abandon, not posses, and to hold this in your hands is (to quote Father Richard Rohr) 'the most heroic thing you'll ever do'.

Be still my beating heart.





{Today's soundtrack: Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise/Seven Swans}