Settle

"If I make my bed in the depths,
If I settle on the far side of the sea,
Even there your hand will guide me..."

Sometimes, the best thing to do is head up to the highest point you can find and breathe so deeply that the air fills your toes. There may be a hundred reasons why this is the best thing to do, happy or sad, but in my experience there are few better ways to settle yourself. Doesn't even have to be that high, just a place where the view extends away from those air-filled toes into a distance that is bigger and more mysterious than you... I think it's something about surrender.

(Having said that, the Gormley statues suggest otherwise don't they? Hmm, the plot thickens.)

With all this in mind, I'm off for a few days with a friend to breathe in the cliff top views of Cornwall. We're hoping to find some surf, and much as I'll try to avoid all the photographic clichés for you when I return I can't promise - some things are appealing for good–if simple–reason. An old post from October comes to mind, so leaving you with all this, have a good few days, I'll be back soon!


{Today's soundtrack: Radio 4}

Am I an Alien?

"Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space."

Is anyone else feeling like a bit of an alien today? I keep feeling as though I'm in orbit, just watching things from a distance and not sure how what I'm doing fits with the rest of the planet. hmmm...that feeling of wanting to sort everything out and not being able to quite reach.

Anyone?

Having been to see the Gormley show at the Hayward Gallery this weekend I am convinced that we all feel like this quite a lot.

It's the most extraordinary thing - standing on the South Bank looking around London's skyline, seeing Gormley's figures stationed on the top of buildings both right above your head and as far as you can stretch your vision into the distance. They're just quietly looking at us. My friend Harry is overwhelmed with the sense of how these static bodies connect the entire landscape with feeling and belonging. I usually find London such an insensitive, thick skinned and unfriendly place, and then suddenly there's a peaceful army keeping an eye on us, holding us in, and perhaps the city's cold arrogance has not managed to fling us sensitive ones out into distant orbit after all.

Inside the gallery is the amazing 'Blind Light' - a cold, floodlit room with perspex walls, full up with steam. Walk in to the middle of the 'blind' whiteness and you have no sense of space whatsoever, another face only visible when it appears out of the fog just two feet away. Your sense of other humans–either wariness or need of them–is so exaggerated, along with the peace in being completely alone. So, here the separation is delightful.

And those sculptures, such tenderness... they provoke a big wondering about the space between us... go see, I just can't fill the rest in for you!

So yes, aliens we all are. Do you feel like an alien? Maybe that's ok.




{Today's soundtrack: PJ Harvey - We Float}

Pin Up

Osyth–one of our photography students–created this small sculpture yesterday while telling me about how uncomfortable she finds the stressful experience of drawing her end-of-year exhibition together. What more can I say about the affection and respect an artist has for rhythm and structure? (See previous post.)


{Today's soundtrack: Scott Matthews again, still so soothing.}

An Order to Things

Appreciate the order of things - they often happen well arranged.

For a slightly wild and impulsive heart, order and structure sometimes feel boring, restrictive, perhaps frightening - a kind of imprisonment. It can feel as though they will rob you of a precious vision, and the energy behind it will be dispersed across other, less interesting preoccupations. Imposed order and structure can feel like a grill across your heart. They are actually the reverse.

Without order, the monument has no sturdy foundation and will topple in the faintest breeze, and without structure the passionflower has nothing to curl its tendrils around in order to climb.


Order encourages patience, structure brings on self-control – necessary framework – and both are wise parents to the most fantastic of dreams. Therefore, be glad when order is taking its lead and let yourself be exhilarated by its rhythm, which builds so that wild hearts may get on and do their work well.


{Today's soundtrack: Scott Matthews - Passing Stranger}

Lie Down

Today, another image from the South Africa street kids book (which I've been working on this week). I've put together a master layout from the edit of 170 images, and seventy double page spreads later and this is all I can think to offer you.

It's been an eventful couple of weeks and I find myself feeling a bit startled. Words of wisdom? Chocolate and wine, and friendly arms are a bonus.

Have a great weekend.


{Today's soundtrack: Soweto Gospel Choir}

Big Bother

I absolutely hate Big Brother. There, I've said it.

The impending oppression of having this ridiculous cult of hollow celebrity forced on us is horrible. Ooh, I really don't like it do I? And it will be forced - we won't be able to go anywhere without it being rubbed in our faces like sandpaper. Please - if you hate Big Brother too - don't feel alone in that instinct to cut the plug off your telly cable, and don't feel isolated in your urge to torch the piles of BB obsessed rag they call newspapers that you will be tripping over in your local shops. Don't actually do those things, but don't feel weird for thinking them either!

Instead of the big bother, which starts again tonight, here are some proper things to try instead:

1. Bake some excellent cookies, take them to a friend and find out how their real day was.

2. Grow some stuff - tomatoes maybe, or herbs, easy things that smell great. Basil's good and you can do homemade pesto with it. mmmmm...

3. Go and run, wherever you like. Appreciate the fact you have freedom to do this.

4. Or feeling edgy? Go climb an Extreme route somewhere, like this one Greg and I did at Easter. That'll sort you out.

5. Pull up a chair to the window and sit there for an hour just watching and listening. Best telly in the world.

6. Sort your photos into albums! (that old job, boo! It is good though, and bet you catch yourself smiling...)

7. Read a book - you know those things with pages that have words on. I can recommend this by John O'Donahue, some very poetic ideas about the shelter of true friendship. Or Tenderness of Wolves - and let me know what you think, I'm reading this at the moment.

8. Lie down and listen to some music with your eyes closed. Guarantee you'll lose track of time and your eyes will thank you for the break.

9. "Who goes? You decide!" Utter rubbish. Instead of nurturing unhealthy judgmental energy voting out out a complete stranger from a fake community, go and encourage a real person - someone you actually know - that they're brilliant and valuable and make the world a better place.

And finally:

10. That thing that occurred to you while you were sitting at the window for an hour, that wildest dream that bravely found time to bubble up, go do it.


Big Brother is crafty, it does suck you in, but don't ever let it numb you so much you stop living a real life and fail to notice the softness of people around you.




{Today's soundtrack: Chat with the lads in the studio}

hang on...

Actually, although that last post is probably accurate in many ways, what I'd prefer to say is this:

Be drawn back into peace and expect to be held there.
May God make his face shine upon you;
may you find the pathway extends straight in front of you,
and may light guide your feet as you go forward on your path.
Bringing you peace and blessings so you may know
the shelter of the heavenly wing.

phew

I was just in the middle of a big angry rant about football after watching the good folk of Bristol mob the streets to cheer Bristol Rovers home from their Wembley triumph, then depressed myself too much, so will save that to unleash on you when I'm truly grumpy. Instead, I'm putting this picture up again because its energy and sentiment reflect just how wild life is feeling at the moment - mostly in a good way. I love this photo, and Rufus too as I've said before (check November's archive), although the other photos from this day were lost when all my stuff got nicked... Bittersweet, but isn't that life? So go on my friend, show us how much you care! And do it for me 'cos I'm feeling a bit frazzled. x

(By the way, the effects of Saturday's thrill have subsided a little as I can't quite believe what lies ahead. As a friend of mine who I climb with repeats when things are looking hairy, "Just climb what's in front of you". Phew. Deep breaths... I will be able to explain in time.)


{Today's soundtrack: A calm playlist entitled Little Chill FM}

Oh Happy Day!

Amazing, amazing, amazing. I've just had some ***amazing*** news about a job, and don't really know what to do with myself - everyone else is out of town (in spite of the terrible forecast) so not sure where to go or what to do with the happiness except run 100 laps around my house and try not to freak the neighbours out with my happy squealing. And there was me trying to stay calm and pretend I was really laid back about it. I knew there was a reason to stay back at base...



YAHOOOOO!


{Today's soundtrack: Oh Happy Day - The Edwin Hawkins Singers}

Would Rather Be...

Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish. Rain for the holidays, and lots of it. Got me thinking of somewhere I'd rather be, and in the company of treasures who I miss like mad. Si, Shirl and the littles on Piha beach, west coast of North Island, New Zealand. Here's my photo story for your bank holiday delight, should the rain prevent your adventuring outside.










{Today's soundtrack: Gorecki again, as I took an early run around the docks... beautiful}

A Tribute

Here's to a thing that grows: a seed hidden away in its earthy privacy.

This is the thing about seeds: just when no one is looking, because we've probably given up waiting–and this is the bit that never fails to bowl me over–it spikes itself up out of the soil and points to the light, and it keeps on pointing and spiking and moving up and out, and then insists on establishing its roots so as to make sprigs and buds and fruit of its own, just keeps going and going. And it's only then that you get to see what it's shape is, shade and thickness of leaf, its resilience in the wind, fragrance as you run your fingers up the leaves, and just how hairy those leaves are!



Seeds are sown for us humans all the time - soulful seeds of ideas, feelings, instincts and connections. How is it so difficult to remember the quiet time a seed needs to do its work in private, and not prod and interfere? Leave that polythene cover over the rich soil and trust...


If we are to achieve anything revolutionary in this life then it initially takes three things: wisdom to realise when a seed has been sown, patience to leave it alone and faith that there is growth happening in a place you can't–and shouldn't–reach. Trusting there is positive progress in something that can't be seen simply has to be an act of faith, and trying to obtain physical proof of this growth will destroy the seed.

Of course, once it's out in the open then love it to the heavens.

(And with today's eye on plants here's a wee homage to Elliot Erwitt, a photographer I met while at Magnum Photos. Fair to say that without Magnum I wouldn't be here, but boy, were there some real juicy seeds growing back there...)




{Today's Soundtrack: the only way is up...

Not really, it's Freelance Hellraiser - Want You To Know}

Want you to know you made me happy
Want you to know you made me sad
Want you to know you made me happy
You are the best thing that I ever had

PS. Apologies for the poor technical quality of these images - they were taken on my phone.

Orange Badge

Dare I be so honest as to confess I'm feeling a bit tearful at the moment? Sometimes things just creep up and get ya, right when you're least expecting. However, this little orange badge came to my help glowing out amongst the cram of memories on my pinboard. It felt like seeing it for the first time, so I tried to shoot the way it stood out. Simple and cute, unashamedly so.


And there were more Circles of Confusion again at sunrise, though they were perfectly still while the swifts squealed past in the huge and clear morning air. No momentary overlap and moving on - they were just resting with each other.


I pray today that we all find our places to rest and be soothed, and that this doesn't have to be complicated.


{Today's soundtrack: Turin Brakes - The Optimist LP}